Ugly American

Setting: Koh Phi Phi island, Thailand a community that was completely devastated by the sunami disaster five months ago.

I now know why people hate us. I have witnessed the worst American I've ever laid eyes on. He was about 24, spikey blond hair, brash, ignorant and extremely loud. The first encounter was at a dive shop when he burst in and demanded to know if there was a wave runner or a boat he could rent. When the guy who was obviously talking to an actual customer tried to explain that there are hired boats available at the pier...he says "Naw man, I don't want to pay some dude to drive me around. I want to do my own thing man. I can't get a wave runner or sompin?" So, he then explains that we're actually in the middle of a huge Thailand marine park that is protected and they don't want Joe Hotshot driving all around banging into coral. "Awe that sucks man." I'm quite certain he didn't say Thank You for the information.

Encounter number two was this morning when I was trying desperately to find an international phone connection. It's the quiet hours of the early morning and I pass by him sitting back in a chair practically yelling at these two Thai guys across a desk about how we get hurricanes in America, they're terrible and there aren't any Thai people that fly over and help us clean up. He can't seem to understand it! Crazy nonsense, all these white volunteers helping fix up an island when they don't come help us. And then he goes on about how he's "Married a Thai girl!, I know brother because I married a Thai girl!" Like they're supposed to thank him for taking her off their collective hands and buying her a meal. He was so loud I caught this exchange just walking by. I made the international crazy sign by pointing to him and swirling my finger by my head. Both guys smiled. Poor guys.

It's a very small island and day-by-day I pray this man never finds out I'm also American because I don't want him anywhere near me!